Love isn't what you think it is

Hello again.

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep.


Things I wanna update:

My crush towards that guy disappeared.

I have no crush this year.

I don't intend to be with anyone this year.

I'm going to learn HoN from a friend.

I'm playing Dragon Nest.

I lost a good friend.

I'm a bitch towards people.

I love eroge.

I can drive, illegally.



That's pretty much sums up what I'm going through right now.
You never know what was there till you lost them.

The reason why I don't want to be in a relationship now is because I don't need a relationship.
A couple is not about being in a relationship. It's more on how you want each other. How you will sacrifice your time just to be with them. The wanting of being with each other and how committed are you in doing that.

After watching a video from "MyHusbandIsJapanese" it really opened up my mind and heart. What's is the real purpose of being in a relationship if you're not committed enough to do it. Your partner is actually your best friend. Someone you're not afraid to show yourself and someone who accepted as who you are.

I'm weird and silly. I'm still on the look out for that one person who is weird like me. Or in another case, my soul mate.

After losing a friend, after friendzoning a guy, after being through with a guy has really made me realize that I'm an idiot, a bitch and a huge heartless person.

What do I really want is something I , myself, can't answer.
Maybe all I needed was a friend who would be willing to listen to my rants and who is able to tolerate with my awfully bizarre mood swings.

I still can't find a real good reason why I just typed alot of useless crap above^

Anyway. I'm going to sleep now. Going to be an obedient daughter and listen to what my mom says